For those of you who wonder onto my page you will begin to question the name of my blog. Well in 08' I toured with a band called Scuba Team Go. (fun dudes) Danny had written a line for one of their songs, "crows on my back porch." I asked him time and time again what he meant and being the play it cool guy he was he would always say I dunno. Finally I caught him on a serious or off day and he said most people are facing things always coming at you knocking down your front door. So we run out the back door and there the crows are waiting because we've let what we wanted or dreamt to do behind and died inside.
Even if thats not what he meant thats what I'm going with. With my past couple of years I've had the crows waiting for me on my front porch just waiting for me to come outside. Trying to get me to fear what lies ahead. And I'm not ashamed to say for a while I was....terrified in all actuality. Yet, like anybody facing a fear you find inspiration and you overcome. For my music friends you will think its hilarious but I'm serious that the The Lone Rangers inspired me. Brendan Fraser starts talking about the grim reaper tattoo on his back shoulder to remind him of how fast life goes and he doesn't have time to sit around.
People view death as a horrible scary thing that they run out the back door to get away from. I find peace in embracing the time while I have it. Living life and enjoying it as long as I can. As long as you do the best you can everyday who can judge you. Live laugh and cry in one day and you have lived a good day is what Jimmy V. would say. Face life and embrace it!
Saturday, July 6, 2013
My species
Thoughts on my mind....musical jargon and..well...fear. Why do we as a human race fear. Is it just because it's such an overpowering, and eager to take flight emotion? Can it be the symbolism of the grim reaper, or tombstone that send us cowering? Can it be the dark diction or moving picture of it all? I would like to express both things on my mind so I will travel through the fear of musicians.
Sadly my favorite thought about fear or death didn't come from FDR and doesn't apply to the wonderful mind of a musician. (All we have to fear is fear itself, for those not familiar) Also there are so many things to be taught about fear. Religion starts with the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and some religious places make you feel guilty or unclean just because you do fear. Athletics (well back in my day) taught us to use fear to motivate, overcome, and put it in our opponent. But thats not the road I want to travel for now.
For fear my mind always drifts to the quote from the movie Coach Carter by student Timo Cruz. "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us." This quote was first established by Marianne Williamson. A lady i revere for her wisdom just not her ideals. Yet that tid bit of inspiration hits like a hammer.
Musicians are a breed of their own, and as one I must say that this quote could be used to almost define the demeanor of us all. Some people see us as stuck up because we believe in ourselves so dang much. Others see us as a waste of time because there are musicians everywhere. So on behalf of my species let me just say...ugh! First off there are not a lot of musicians there are a lot of people who play. There are tons who play but real musicians breath music. Not the overdone kid panting trying to write music and all stressed out....blah. They have to play music to feel alive, to feel worth something, to feel like they unite in the cosmos of the world. We become stuck on ourselves because either- A.) We see something in ourselves that makes us fearful. B.) Nobody has ever told us to practice more and we think we are the best thing since sliced bread. P.S. not even other musicians like the latter!
Allow me to elaborate on the first. We see the world different than you other homosapiens. Kind of like Neo in the matrix. We can be beaten, cussed, spit on, and given the worst news possible but it only takes one note or one chord to bring us back to happiness. The dangerous thing for us is when we realize this and grow. We see endless amounts of every emotion and we strive to breath it to life.
I don't know about you and your "calling", or "profession", is in life but that last sentence is what causes us (musicians) to FEAR. Yeah getting on stage in front of people can be fearful, and the possibility of rejection can be terrifying. What we really fear is the rejection of how we connect with the cosmos. By that I mean the feelings that we bring in our music are from our deepest point and we want to have a relation or connect it with the listeners. The intimacy that comes with true music is not easy, and definitely not easy for us to open up and give out. Thus why you see so many musicians being extremely shy or not wanting to play for anybody but their friends. For myself I will never be shy for an accolade from a panel of judges but I will almost always fear the public.
Sadly my favorite thought about fear or death didn't come from FDR and doesn't apply to the wonderful mind of a musician. (All we have to fear is fear itself, for those not familiar) Also there are so many things to be taught about fear. Religion starts with the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and some religious places make you feel guilty or unclean just because you do fear. Athletics (well back in my day) taught us to use fear to motivate, overcome, and put it in our opponent. But thats not the road I want to travel for now.
For fear my mind always drifts to the quote from the movie Coach Carter by student Timo Cruz. "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us." This quote was first established by Marianne Williamson. A lady i revere for her wisdom just not her ideals. Yet that tid bit of inspiration hits like a hammer.
Musicians are a breed of their own, and as one I must say that this quote could be used to almost define the demeanor of us all. Some people see us as stuck up because we believe in ourselves so dang much. Others see us as a waste of time because there are musicians everywhere. So on behalf of my species let me just say...ugh! First off there are not a lot of musicians there are a lot of people who play. There are tons who play but real musicians breath music. Not the overdone kid panting trying to write music and all stressed out....blah. They have to play music to feel alive, to feel worth something, to feel like they unite in the cosmos of the world. We become stuck on ourselves because either- A.) We see something in ourselves that makes us fearful. B.) Nobody has ever told us to practice more and we think we are the best thing since sliced bread. P.S. not even other musicians like the latter!
Allow me to elaborate on the first. We see the world different than you other homosapiens. Kind of like Neo in the matrix. We can be beaten, cussed, spit on, and given the worst news possible but it only takes one note or one chord to bring us back to happiness. The dangerous thing for us is when we realize this and grow. We see endless amounts of every emotion and we strive to breath it to life.
I don't know about you and your "calling", or "profession", is in life but that last sentence is what causes us (musicians) to FEAR. Yeah getting on stage in front of people can be fearful, and the possibility of rejection can be terrifying. What we really fear is the rejection of how we connect with the cosmos. By that I mean the feelings that we bring in our music are from our deepest point and we want to have a relation or connect it with the listeners. The intimacy that comes with true music is not easy, and definitely not easy for us to open up and give out. Thus why you see so many musicians being extremely shy or not wanting to play for anybody but their friends. For myself I will never be shy for an accolade from a panel of judges but I will almost always fear the public.
Friday, April 19, 2013
My leaves of grass
Relation is the most powerful accent of the mind
Sensory and memory all scheme together.
Searching for an ear, searching for a word,
A pilgrimage from the mind to soul.
Calming and soothing the chaos into nirvana,
Where the surrounding cosmos of nature is community.
Leaving a singular ripple in the water, absolution.
A carbon footprint left, legacy for men once known.
Styles, parallels, paradigm shifts….
Lessons taught of relativity and universal connection,
Leaves of grass growing the next generation
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